I've always been moved by writing that engages the heart, especially poetry. Dostoyevsky and Steinbeck have moved me greatly; also the works of Abraham Joshua Heschel. These are where my journey started after military service which involved combat. I began a search for my soul. Studying classics, history, and moral and ethical philosophical writings, I reached out to a former comrade whose experience had left me haunted for years. As we reacquainted, I felt an overwhelming need to tell his story. We made a pact that we would each write the other's story. This began a multi-year process of research and investigation to reacquire facts. Through several interviews the facts and outline emerged, and I wrote the chapters out and had the comrade read these to make sure they were acceptable to his feeling. Because of the nature of these experiences, this was extremely difficult for him emotionally. We obtained a team of volunteers who also read these draft (a forensic psychologist, a research editor, and an artist). In 2022, we put all these together in an agreed upon format and published X Rubicon: Crossing Life, Sex, Love, & Killing in CIA Proxy Wars: An indictment of US Citizens: ignorantia non excusat.